Freshman Guest Writer!
Hey. I’m Calvin. It’s been four weeks since I got to the 'scow,
and I’ve been making good friends here, like Zoe, Cat, Kari, Marie, Chase, and Hrothgar and
we’ve been having some EPIC times. Speaking of which I’m wearing Kari’s hoodie from
when we were smoking at the arboretum a couple nights ago and I was cold. Haha,
awkward. #somuchfun
I kind of came to this school to escape jocks, but they’re swarming here. I don’t get along with
people whose thighs are thicker than my torso. But here they are, bro-ing it up
on the rugby pitch and building masculine relationships without me. #secureinmyways. It’s such a
military, gung-ho culture. Pass. Testosterone is great, but it actually makes
you hairy and prone to coronary disease. I’m fine with not having as much of it
as them. And stop asking me to play
rugby. People get injured playing rugby. I don’t even own gym shorts and quite
honestly most sports are for people with fewer brain cells than me.
There are girls here who take really, really good good
pictures of themselves. I’ve made
friends with them basically so that they will take more pictures of me #lovethyselfie. I feel
a little guilty, but some of my outfits should really be making the rounds on
style blogs. I honestly don’t think that’s pride saying that. It’s important to
be truthful. It’s hard for me not to reach the conclusion that I’m just more
aesthetically Christ-like than everyone else. #bejealous
Man, people get really uptight here about girls and
“protecting them.” It’s like every time I date anyone, it’s this huge pastoral
situation. I think Cat likes me but I also think Angelina might too. Zoe and I
went out a couple times but…you know, shtuff. My plan is not to “pick” one girl now, but to
just get close to all of them and really find out where their hearts are. Kari
might like me too.
Last night I sat between Kari and Angelina while we watched Django Unchained and I think Cat was a
little, um, peeved at me. I seriously do not try to “single her out” but it
kind of happens. Girls misinterpret what I say and do so much. It’s like, yes, we
took a three hour walk and talked about life and I might have held your hand;
no, that does mean I’m going to call your Dad tomorrow. I have to think
these things through, ya know?
Yeah, school is really
tough. Between skimming Aristotle and price-comparing cardigans online #timeforfallcolors
#yay, I just don’t have time for all these Bible studies and singing. When do
these people get their homework done? Latin is so hard, Cat and I stayed up
till 4 AM drilling verbs at Monica’s house. The Latin prof eats broken glass most
meals and judges me for wearing jeans.
Well, I better sign off. My favorite jeans are pretty tight
when I sit down #whywearjeansthattouchyourshoes? So tonight I’m gonna stay standing up, maybe take a long walk
with ma peoplezz. Gotta remember to get smokes at the Corner Market first.
Camel Wides, American Spirits, or Marlboro Southern Cut? I go back and forth.
Also I go back and forth on which upperclassmen I invite to the stuff we do,
because only some of them will buy us beer.
#word.
#wordywordwordword
#instaword #instain and #instaOUT
-Freshie Guest Writer
