Status update!

Facebook status of the hour: Anyone want to come to my house and watch Bride Wars with me? I'll provide the snacks and drinks. You just come. :)

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Lydia Ryan

Chortles In The Hallway

Cute Boy: "The other day I couldn't find my pencil."

Girl: "Oh MY WORD! That is so funny! hahahahachortlecacklehaha!"

Cute Boy: "I finally found my pencil but I realized it was out of lead."

Girl: "You are hilarious! Are you serious? No way! hahaha!"

Cute Boy: "So I had to use a pen instead."

Girl: "Hahahasnorthaha!"

Maddie Fae

A Masculine Perspective

 Every day I wake up and check my Populi account… After all, I might have picked up some more followers since last night when I checked last. Nope, still stuck at three. Then I mentally prepare my outfit for the day. It's sunny, so I think a fedora would be just the ticket to block all those harmful rays. Then I carefully slip on my vest...unbutton a couple shirt buttons... and pull on my skinny jeans. No, I don’t skateboard, or do any extreme sports, why would you ask a question like that? I just want my legs to look like skateboarder legs. As I sling on my messenger bag, I turn up my music. Lately, I’ve been really into these guys from Portland with sweet neck beards. As I walk to class, I see another guy in a fedora and vest, but he must attend one of the secular universities because he does not have 30 books in his bag and he has a sleazy woman on his arm. For some reason all the pagan guys who dress like me have really nasty looking women. It's really weird because I am on the lookout for a good, upstanding Christian woman with a passion for Augustine and cooking. As I walk, I massage my soul patch goatee combo. I've been nurturing and caring for it for weeks and it is starting to look really fly. Heading to class, I see that girl that cheered when I was playing buckbuck and I wonder how good she is at cooking apple pie. Who knows, some upstanding Christian woman might be impressed by my ninja skills when I play in friendship square tonight. I'm pretty sure that whole game is a major chick magnet. 

Ghost Writer: Joseph Danielson Wintucket

Thoughts on the Upcoming Ball

Every young woman needs this list of helpful heartening hints for the hard times in life. Especially the difficult and disheartening dilemmas in which you are just not sure if anyone likes you. Can you think of anything worse than the feeling that not one guy has a crush on you? There is a no fail method to encourage your naturally humble female mind through these spiritually turbulent times. This is to interpret every male action as specifically directed toward you. You can practice this in everyday life. Take walking down the street, for instance, if a cute guy walks by you, looks at you and smiles, you could take this to mean that he likes you. However, if he does not, just tell yourself that he was too overtaken by your beauty to even look at you. Now you might be one of those girls who always gets whistled at. If so you've got it made. If not, do not worry; all is not lost. Interpret this to mean that you are not a slut and (only slutty girls get whistled at.)  These are general instances. For specific instances, say school dances, there are still ways. The Ball always begins with the grand march. If you are singled out for this dance, then do not be offended because you think it is the most boring. He most likely asked you because it was the first dance and he wanted to hold your hand for a long time and talk (awkwardly) with you. Next will be the virginia reel (yes the fun one). If he asked you for this one he definitely thinks you're cool. It might be going too far to say he likes you. The next one is a mixer, the scottish polka, this one is nigh impossible to justify being asked to dance. The only thing I can say is to just hope he is a clueless dork and didn't realize it was a mixer. The posties jig  is even more fun than the virginia reel. If you are singled out for this one, you can be satisfied....he may even ask you to marry him next. If you are not...well...just assume he got stuck in an awkward eye contact exchange with another girl and felt it was rude not to ask her. He is a chivalrous man...go for him! I won't get into discussing waltzes, because that is far to touchy for any christian school...I mean, you may as well get married!

Ghost Writer: Heather Lorraine

I hate it when guys do that...

"Guess what happened today?"

"WHAT?!"

"A guy honked at me."

"Oh my word."

"And do you wanna know what else happened at me?"

"What?"

"A guy in a Uhaul truck whistled at me."

"Wow."

"I know... it was super annoying."

"Yeah..."

"And do you wanna know what else happened?"

"What?"

"A dude on a bike almost crashed when he rode by me..."

"Wow..."

"I know... I hate it when guys do that."

Lydia Ryan

Teenage Prep

After church today some of the preschoolers were causing a ruckus, those cute little urchins. I could see they just needed a little godly attention to their baptisms, so I set each one of them on my knee and chanted the entire Heidelberg Catechism aloud with them, adding hand motions. Then I taught the whole group to sing along to Bach's *St. Matthew's Passion*. Gearing up to be a mom myself someday!

Ghost Writer (Chris Schlect)

Brown Paper Bag Lunches

This week I decided to bless my dear father by making his lunches everyday.
Day 1: peanut butter and jelly sandwich, apple, oatmeal raisin cookie in a brown paper bag
Day 2: ham and cheese sandwich, freshly picked orange from my backyard orange tree, homemade power bar, water bottle in a brown paper bag
Day 3: BLT on toasted bread, strawberry banana smoothie, walnut arugula salad, chocolate mocha     mousse pie in a brown paper bag
Day 4: a whole chicken marinated in bbq orange sauce, homemade stuffing, crescent rolls, chicken broccoli soup, mexican rice, a side of fettuccine, hot chocolate in a thermos in a brown paper bag
Day 5: freshly roasted lamb on a spit, three loaves of bread, steak, linguine pasta with grated parmesan, lobster, a slice of very cherry berry merry cake, a bottle of vintage wine in a brown paper bag
Day 6: a thanksgiving turkey with buttermilk mashed potatoes, my famous whole wheat baguettes, freshly churned butter to go with the bread, escargot, creme brulee, baked alaska, a fresh cup of coffee, and a hand stitched lace doily lining the brown paper bag
Day 7: It was Sunday, so I prepared a Christmas feast for my family then did the dishes
                                                             maddie fae

Status Update

Baking, courting, running, chatting, smiling, eating, flirting, volleyballing, walking, snorkeling, drinking, burping, slurping, baking, chirping, barking, typing, working, emailing, copying, scanning, meeting, greeting, buying, starbucksing, shopping, baking, creeping, stalking, boating, swimming, listening, talking, tennising, facebooking, chortling, cuddling, texting, baking, four squaring, sweating, pony tailing, drawing, doodling, judging, misspelling, yawning, gallivanting, reading, writing, baking, solving, pondering, struggling, weeping, sweeping, scrubbing, lifting, singing, building, financing, cropping, shooting, sleeping, winning, baking, updating. GOOD DAY.

Lydia May