A Masculine Perspective

 Every day I wake up and check my Populi account… After all, I might have picked up some more followers since last night when I checked last. Nope, still stuck at three. Then I mentally prepare my outfit for the day. It's sunny, so I think a fedora would be just the ticket to block all those harmful rays. Then I carefully slip on my vest...unbutton a couple shirt buttons... and pull on my skinny jeans. No, I don’t skateboard, or do any extreme sports, why would you ask a question like that? I just want my legs to look like skateboarder legs. As I sling on my messenger bag, I turn up my music. Lately, I’ve been really into these guys from Portland with sweet neck beards. As I walk to class, I see another guy in a fedora and vest, but he must attend one of the secular universities because he does not have 30 books in his bag and he has a sleazy woman on his arm. For some reason all the pagan guys who dress like me have really nasty looking women. It's really weird because I am on the lookout for a good, upstanding Christian woman with a passion for Augustine and cooking. As I walk, I massage my soul patch goatee combo. I've been nurturing and caring for it for weeks and it is starting to look really fly. Heading to class, I see that girl that cheered when I was playing buckbuck and I wonder how good she is at cooking apple pie. Who knows, some upstanding Christian woman might be impressed by my ninja skills when I play in friendship square tonight. I'm pretty sure that whole game is a major chick magnet. 

Ghost Writer: Joseph Danielson Wintucket