Freshman Guest Writer!
Hey. I’m Calvin. It’s been four weeks since I got to the 'scow,
and I’ve been making good friends here, like Zoe, Cat, Kari, Marie, Chase, and Hrothgar and
we’ve been having some EPIC times. Speaking of which I’m wearing Kari’s hoodie from
when we were smoking at the arboretum a couple nights ago and I was cold. Haha,
awkward. #somuchfun
I kind of came to this school to escape jocks, but they’re swarming here. I don’t get along with
people whose thighs are thicker than my torso. But here they are, bro-ing it up
on the rugby pitch and building masculine relationships without me. #secureinmyways. It’s such a
military, gung-ho culture. Pass. Testosterone is great, but it actually makes
you hairy and prone to coronary disease. I’m fine with not having as much of it
as them. And stop asking me to play
rugby. People get injured playing rugby. I don’t even own gym shorts and quite
honestly most sports are for people with fewer brain cells than me.
There are girls here who take really, really good good
pictures of themselves. I’ve made
friends with them basically so that they will take more pictures of me #lovethyselfie. I feel
a little guilty, but some of my outfits should really be making the rounds on
style blogs. I honestly don’t think that’s pride saying that. It’s important to
be truthful. It’s hard for me not to reach the conclusion that I’m just more
aesthetically Christ-like than everyone else. #bejealous
Man, people get really uptight here about girls and
“protecting them.” It’s like every time I date anyone, it’s this huge pastoral
situation. I think Cat likes me but I also think Angelina might too. Zoe and I
went out a couple times but…you know, shtuff. My plan is not to “pick” one girl now, but to
just get close to all of them and really find out where their hearts are. Kari
might like me too.
Last night I sat between Kari and Angelina while we watched Django Unchained and I think Cat was a
little, um, peeved at me. I seriously do not try to “single her out” but it
kind of happens. Girls misinterpret what I say and do so much. It’s like, yes, we
took a three hour walk and talked about life and I might have held your hand;
no, that does mean I’m going to call your Dad tomorrow. I have to think
these things through, ya know?
Yeah, school is really
tough. Between skimming Aristotle and price-comparing cardigans online #timeforfallcolors
#yay, I just don’t have time for all these Bible studies and singing. When do
these people get their homework done? Latin is so hard, Cat and I stayed up
till 4 AM drilling verbs at Monica’s house. The Latin prof eats broken glass most
meals and judges me for wearing jeans.
Well, I better sign off. My favorite jeans are pretty tight
when I sit down #whywearjeansthattouchyourshoes? So tonight I’m gonna stay standing up, maybe take a long walk
with ma peoplezz. Gotta remember to get smokes at the Corner Market first.
Camel Wides, American Spirits, or Marlboro Southern Cut? I go back and forth.
Also I go back and forth on which upperclassmen I invite to the stuff we do,
because only some of them will buy us beer.
#word.
#wordywordwordword
#instaword #instain and #instaOUT
-Freshie Guest Writer
Satire is great, but minced words are not. Is the purpose of this a smack in the face with "tough love" or a funny "haha" thing? If you're comfortable being bridled with a dichotomy, just know that neither works. Those it's directed to won't listen and those who don't get it will just be upset (or laugh at what they don’t get).
ReplyDeleteAnonymity (which never lasts) only helps you to get away with something you shouldn't (and intensifying partial feelings). When it comes to edification, either be very clear, or be ambiguous enough to suggest the opposite of what you depict (polemics, bro, which are only effective because it’s obvious that Erasmus’ viewpoint is crap on a golden platter).
The fact that an NSA blogosphere exists at all is hilarious to me (should I say "cute"?). But since it's such a small community, it's very easy to upset people and do the wrong thing. For me, a month's time has proven that. Since it's so small, awareness (or popularity) or the creation of "interesting" things like "Did you see that blog post? Who wrote it?" or "Did you hear what he said to Mr. Appel?” is even more petty and self-possessed.
I'd like to think that this is just an expression of "lighten up - don't take yourself so seriously". But it feels more like a way to mock the things you don't like about the most similar people to you. Is there any more homogeneous group in America than us, outside the brainwashed (the brainwashed don't write satire)? You’re not making fun of us (including you), you’re making fun of them. An NSA satire blog is an awesome idea, but not a "let's make a voodoo doll of people we kind of dislike" blog. Even if it's just for fun (which it clearly isn't), it still has the effect of further division. If you want to make someone uncomfortable in the good way (you know, the way where they will trust and listen to you), take them out to coffee and ask them questions.
And besides, it's eerily specific, leaving out a good 90% of the freshman class. Not cool.
If you take issue with someone (are they even in sin, or do they just wear skinnier jeans? Who cares?), don't trumpet your distaste. Talk to them, don't whisper to everyone else.
But now, you've made it public to this small group of what you don't like (or given everyone else a handful of pins they didn't have before). This is a public fault, but a private apology might be more appropriate.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church." - St. Matthew
It's been one month and few words have been spoken (and has any sin been found?).
I love you. Let’s talk.
-Caleb W.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is the author of the post speaking to the Caleb W. I love you too, brother. When I wrote this post, I was thinking more of myself than of anyone else, and it was actually difficult to write and probably less funny to me than to most people because of that…at least some parts of that.
ReplyDeleteIf you go through the post again, you’ll see that I’m making fun of most everyone: smokers, girls who take pictures of themselves, jocks. And if you scroll down, you'll see that the rest of this blog makes fun of almost every archetype in this tiny little community. I can understand, in retrospect, why you might think I was targeting some people in particular, but I assure you that this is not the case. I smoke once in a while, I wear skinny jeans once in a while, and there are people on the rugby team whose thighs are thicker than my torso (I personally think that’s more an indictment of them than of me, but it’s open to interpretation!)
I’m also a pretty thick-skinned person and that’s why I was ultimately comfortable satirizing myself. However, I have heard from several people that they I thought I was targeting particular people in this post, people who already have enough on their plate and really don’t need to be satirized. Well, I wasn’t targeting them specifically (except for one person, who I told about this all before it appeared online), but I believe that EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE SATIRIZED. We are funny people, we humans. We exist for God, but in the process of walking His path, we stumble, and it’s funny—only because WE ALL DO IT. If there’s a lesson in the existence of this blog, then it’s this: if you’re laughing at peoples’ foibles, great, but remember that you (1) have a duty to love flawed human beings as yourself, and (2) you yourself are ridiculous, and so am I.
There is something laughable, ridiculous, about our little tribe in Moscow, how insular we are, how judgy we get when people don’t meet our expectations, unlike Jesus, who let the prostitute soak his feet with perfume, and had dinner with Pharisees and sinners alike because he loved them all. It’s like if little black ants made fun of little red ants and didn’t invite them to their parties (“those red ants just don’t understand our community here in Moscow”). The funny part is, they’re all ants, scrambling for tiny achievements and acting on weird chemical impulses. Sound familiar? That’s because this is who WE ARE. And this blog is black ants making fun of black ants, and red ants, and all the kinds of ants, because everything in this world is funny.
We would love to chat with you face to face!
Lydia May and Maddie Fae
I would love to talk to all of you! Let's go to Bucers sometime and talk about blogging. I might be interested in contributing to the blog (nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Say no more).
DeleteMore seriously, we need to talk about your choice of blogspot and not wordpress. Not cool.
I still think the post was a misfire, but the author's reply ensured that it was meant to hit someplace else. It came off as a criticism of the freshman now (you wrote it communicating that entirely, author. Going back and reading it still communicates that.) and not freshman in general.
But, but, no more digital words.
P.S. Please don't delete the post or any of the comments (I don't think you would). It makes for an interesting case study.
ReplyDeletePerhaps everyone deserves to be satirized – but should they be? The truth is, as an upperclassman (not even touching on one of the blog authors being the dean's daughter), you have a great deal of influence on newer students. Why are you using that influence to pull people down, even in irony? Instead of engaging in sarcastic online bullying, you should be befriending the freshmen, and encouraging others to do so.
I'm guessing you're basing your freshie on a few of the new students who clearly stand out. I'm also guessing that there are many people criticizing them in private, if not to their faces. They are under attack. Your post made me think of that famous quote of Mary Hirsch: “Humor is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.” But what is your point? What did you hope to achieve with this post? To shame the new students? To encourage your peers in their backbiting and discourage them from showing love? To prove that everyone is an idiot? What is the good you expect to come out of this, other than venting your own frustration? You may not be shooting live ammo, but rubber bullets leave one hell of a bruise.
As upperclassmen, you should be leading in humility, grace and kindness. Coming into Moscow and all of its cultural implications is intimidating, especially for a freshman. Things are busy and stressful, and Latin is hard. Very few people come from the kind of back ground you two have. Show a little grace, and make NSA a place that will include outsiders, not tease them for wearing beanies and not understanding courtship. You have the power to do that.
Everyone in college is a moron, to some degree or other. I certainly was. If you want people to act more like Christians, you need to lead in that. Root out the bitterness. Believe me, there's more than one reason those freshmen aren't coming to your Bible study.
I don't mean to come down hard here, and as someone who's been somewhat on both sides of this situation, I can tell you how healing a kind word from an older student can be. I can also tell you that your words can hurt people long after you speak them, leading to shame and regret.
Please consider your motives and heart as you write on your blog. Sarcasm can cut deeply and heal slowly. Please reach out to the students who need a friend, and kindly give them counsel in private if that is what you are called to. Please consider how fragile reputation is – both yours, and that of the person you look down on.
Speak well of people as much as you can. When so many people are making fun of the Moscow community and how insular it is, do you need to add ironic fuel to the fire? Come on, #yolo.
- Katie Miltenberger
Well done as always, ladies. Keep up the good work on my favorite blog.
ReplyDeleteThis was great; my favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just discovered this, and it makes me happy.
ReplyDelete